How to Use This Site

1. Most of my basic posts about disrespect, respect and biblical submission are at the top of my home page.  Those are good places to start learning about how to become a godly Christian wife who pleases Christ and blesses her husband.  I know that the things I talk about will probably sound foreign at first, even to many Christian women.  We have strayed so far as a culture in recent generations from God’s Word and His design for us as women and wives that we don’t even realize that even those of us who believe we are strong Christians are often not living according to God’s commands for us.  Many of us have never seen a wife respect her husband or honor his leadership.  Many of us have never seen a godly man leading his family in a loving way.  

All I ask is that you compare what I say to God’s Word – the Bible – and open your heart to whatever He wants to say to you.  You are the one who will reap the benefits and blessings of God when you obey Him and live a life that pleases Him and are full of His power. 🙂

2. I also have a search bar on my home page and you can search almost any topic imaginable about godly femininity, following Christ and becoming a godly wife.

3. You can also look at the right hand column on my home page and find categories and click on those that interest you.

4. You can scroll through the Blog Timeline at the top of my homepage and find a chronological listing of post titles.

5. I have a YouTube channel,  “April Cassidy,” if you learn better by listening/watching than by reading.  Sometimes it is helpful to hear examples of a disrespectful vs. respectful tone of voice and to see disrespectful vs. respectful facial expressions and body language.

I believe this is the calling God has given me – to share the treasures of heaven that He has shown me that radically transformed my life and my marriage (and hundreds of other women’s lives and marriages) for the better.  I can’t keep God’s wisdom, design and healing power to myself.

You are welcome to leave comments for me to address on any post.

How I pray that you might seek to love Jesus Christ with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and experience the peace, joy and spiritual riches of heaven that He generously gives to all who completely devote themselves to Him.

My views and beliefs line up with the Gospel Coalition

OTHER GREAT POSTS:

My Demon

The Voice in His Head – by My Husband

Replacing the Tapes in My Head

The Key to Contentment

What Is Attractive/Unattractive to Husbands

Respecting Our Husbands as Fathers

Respecting Our Husbands Around Extended Family

Worry

Spiritual Causes of Depression and Anxiety

How to Pray for Your Husband So That God Will Hear

The Stages of This Journey

Dying to Self

The Biggest Problem in Our Marriages and in Our Spiritual Lives 

The Peaceful Wife Respect Dare Supplement 

I Want to Be My Husband’s Biggest Priority

A Wake Up Call for Wives-  Our Husbands are HURTING, Too!

An Interview with My Husband – Understanding a Passive Husband’s Mindset

Bitterness

Forgiveness

Giving Up on My Dream for My Marriage

I’ve REALLY Messed up – How Do I Make Things Right with God?

Walking in Faith Instead of Control

Handling a Controlling Mother as a Team

Trying to Find Security in All the Wrong Places

Roots of Insecurity, Sinful Jealousy and a Desire to Control

The Only True Foundation for Security is Christ

The Frustrating Quiet Phase

Only the Prayers of Those Who Are Consecrated to God Are Powerful and Effective

I’m Right, I Should Be in Control

FAQs

Why Do I Have to Change First?

Are You Just, Um… Well, Better Than Him?

He Doesn’t Deserve My Respect

How Men Think

Men and Emotions

Inspiring My Husband’s Leadership

I’m Tired of Being the Leader in Our Marriage

Why Won’t My Husband Lead?

Why Won’t He Protect Me From His Family?

He Won’t Talk to Me

Nikka’s Heartbreaking Interviews with Her Formerly Passive Husband – 1st interview, 2nd interview, 3rd interview

My Favorite Marriage Books

Do Not Expect Outside Support

Expectations are Premeditated Resentment

A Challenge to Stop Arguing and Complaining

SMILE!

Tone of Voice

My Wife Would Bless Me If…

Being a Peaceful Separated/Divorced Wife

A Wife Analyzes Her Journey 13 Months In

Can a Wife Overdo Biblical Submission?  – by Nikka

OTHER RESOURCES:

David Platt’s Sermons www.radical.net

John Piper’s Sermons www.desiringgod.org

21 Comments on “How to Use This Site”

  1. Sara
    December 15, 2013 at 9:35 pm #

    How do you handle this situation?

    My husband’s family is an emotional wreck. They are very passive aggressive. Rather than communicating about their thoughts or feelings, they use guilt, silences and out right ignoring to try and move someone from a decision that is not liked. Case in point, while we gathered tonight for a birthday, we were talking about Christmas treats and who had what favorites. My husband mentioned that he liked a certain cookie his mother is famous for. She mentioned she was not making them this year. When pressed as to why (she has made them every year for the past 42) she was silent. Everyone knew. She was not making them because my husband decided in October we would be traveling to see other relatives over Christmas. So she is punishing him by not making his favorite cookie.

    Aside- there are very valid reasons that we are traveling for this Holiday. We made this decision prayerfully knowing both our parents would be upset by this but feeling deeply convicted that we needed to make the trip. And we have spent every christmas for the past 12 years (our entire marriage) with them.

    I wanted to scream out loud words that have not crossed my lips in sometime. My husband just walked away. I want him to confront. Call foul. Yell! But he just passively walks away. Later when I asked him if he was really hurt he replied he just lets it go. It has happened for so long that if he allowed it to get to him it would eat him up. How can he do that?

    So my question is: How do I let it go? I know he is hurt by it and I hurt for him. I struggle letting go of this. I want to shake them and say “don’t you see you are emotionally abusing the man I love?!”

    In the past (before my conversion to Biblical submission) I would have nagged him and demanded him confront her. I would have not let it rest until this wound was opened wide in efforts to get them to communicate about their mutual hurt. If my husband did not succumb to my demands, I would end up having a huge fight with him.

    Tonight I did not give in to that desire and instead hugged him. Told him how sorry I was and walked away. But it is still- 3 hours later- eating me alive!

    I need a verse to read- a cue from God to let this go! I often turn to memorized scripture as a running thread of noise in my head to overcome problems ( Matthew 12:36 and Proverbs 16:28 are great when struggling w gossip)!

    Help!

    Like

    • peacefulwife
      December 16, 2013 at 6:50 am #

      Sara,

      One of the hardest parts of not controlling my husband and learning respect was to know what to do when other people disrespected my husband. I wanted to jump in and rescue him and tell them not to mistreat my husband!!

      I actually talked with Laura Doyle about this (author of The Surrendered Wife) – she told me that part of respecting and trusting my husband as a grown man was to trust him to take care of his own relationships without my help.

      So – I backed off. And I let him handle his relationships.

      What your MIL is doing is attempting to manipulate and control by guilt. I have a post about that.
      You may also want to check out:
      Control and Boundaries
      The Snare of People Pleasing
      Why Playing the Martyr Repels Those We Love
      Bitterness

      Handling a Controlling Mother as a Team
      Respecting Your Husband Around Extended Family

      You and your husband made a decision about traveling. It was your right to do that together as a married couple. Your MIL is not your authority. You do not answer to her. You answer to your husband and to God. She wants to try to make herself an authority in your lives – but she is not. She can play this game. That is fine. She will end up repelling her son and being lonely. It is a really foolish way to handle this situation. It would be fine for her to say, “That makes me really sad that you won’t be here this year. But I support whatever decision you believe is best for your family.”

      You cannot control her.

      Your husband probably realizes that it is not worth having a war over the cookie issue.

      He probably learned to handle angry, unreasonable women in his life in a passive way after living with his mother for many years growing up.

      At this point, cheer him on to be the leader in your marriage. Do not respond in kind in a sinful way towards your MIL. That is HIS relationship with HIS mom. He gets to decide what he thinks is best in this relationship. Support him. Thanks for hugging him.

      Ask God to work in her heart for His glory. And ask God to forgive you for any bitterness/resentment/unforgiveness. Then trust your husband to work things out with his mom.

      That is not really your business to try to make him handle his relationships with his family in a specific way.

      As he becomes stronger as a leader and as he knows you honor his leadership and respect him – he may eventually have the courage to stand up to his mom. But he may decide in some cases not to stand up to her – making a huge deal over her passive aggressive response about cookies is unnecessary. She can choose to stew if she wants to. Ok. She is the one who will miss out and pay in lost closeness. It’s really sad.

      I hope this helps!

      Much love,
      April

      Like

    • Equipping The Saints
      January 1, 2014 at 1:34 am #

      My Sister April, I love your blog, and am following it. Please consider following mine. Blessings,
      Pastor – John 17:3
      equippingthesaints@outlook.com
      http://gravatar.com/cchurchchurchblog
      http://cchurchchurchblog.wordpress.com/

      Like

      • peacefulwife
        January 1, 2014 at 7:48 am #

        Thank you, Equipping the Saints, I hope to check out your blog soon. 🙂

        Like

  2. Sara
    December 16, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

    Thank you for your direction. Your insight is so helpful. I appreciate your direct thoughts, Biblical basis and links to your past posts. I do need to let this go. I have printed your response and am going to tuck it into my Bible and go there when I am feeling the ugliness well up in me.

    God Bless YOU!

    Like

    • peacefulwife
      December 16, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

      You are most welcome! 🙂

      Much love to you, Sara!

      Like

  3. Equipping The Saints
    January 4, 2014 at 7:30 pm #

    My Sister In Christ, Your words deeply bless me. It is very clear that the Holy Spirit leads you throughout every aspect of your life. Always know that I am available to pray with and for you. Blessings to you.
    John 17:3
    Pastor/Equipping The Saints
    equippingthesaints@outlook.com
    http://gravatar.com/cchurchchurchblog
    http://cchurchchurchblog.wordpress.com/

    Like

    • peacefulwife
      January 4, 2014 at 8:51 pm #

      Equipping the Saints,

      I value your prayers and encouragement. Thank you so much!

      Like

  4. Shelly Spillman
    January 6, 2014 at 4:49 pm #

    Dear April,
    I have been familiar with your blog for awhile now…My husband & I have been married for 3 and a half years…I know my faults and I don’t know how to change…I have tried over and over to be more submissive, but I keep failing. I admit to being controlling and I have a hard time following my husbands lead…There is one particular area that I struggle…In-law issues. I perceive things one way and he doesn’t see them the same way. That is so hard. They are super opinionated people. Any time he gives in to their opinions, I feel like he is not listening to me. I get so nervous when I know we are going to come in contact with them. I don’t feel comfortable over at their house…I don’t know how to deal with all the opinions. I feel in a sense attacked by their opinions…just because they come across so strongly. My husband admits that they are opinionated, but is not bothered by it like me. It seems like my mother-in-law tries to control the situation when we are over at their house…then it becomes a battle of control. Her & I…When we enter their house the conversations start and it seems their is no moment of peace…I feel bombarded…my husband says trust Him, but I have a hard time trusting him. I need help!

    Shelly

    Like

    • peacefulwife
      January 6, 2014 at 5:43 pm #

      Shelly,

      I believe I can help you and point you to Christ on this issue. 🙂

      Email me please and we will talk about it – aprilc@sc.rr.com

      Like

  5. Sabrina
    February 12, 2014 at 1:20 am #

    I am learning so much, and maybe some day I will share my story with you. God has truly blessed me with finding your blog. Thank you for all that you do. Blessings.

    Sabrina

    Like

    • peacefulwife
      February 12, 2014 at 7:43 am #

      Sabrina,
      I look forward to hearing from you! 🙂 I praise God for what He is doing in your life. 🙂

      Like

  6. Seble
    April 10, 2014 at 6:43 am #

    I have been married for five years. We have 2 kids. My husband is religious (Pray every day, go to church often, help those who are in need), organized, hard worker, and committed to the family. I have strong trust in GOD, good religious background knowledge. I pray at least once a day and go to church a very Sunday. But he always criticized me for the following three things.
    1. “Not managing many properly”: Both of us earn equal money per month (with mine is higher with a small proportion). But I feel the other way. I am not kind of woman who spends many for cosmetics or fashion. My expenditures are usually similar from month to month (for our household staffs) and I found myself defender when he said “You are not using money properly”. Even I asked him to take the responsibilities of managing the money but he is not doing that.
    2. “You prioritize your family than ours”. I feel as if I am giving my whole devotion to my own marriage and kids. My families are away from us. I call them once a week and send them some money two/three times a year. My husband also does similarly. But my grand mom comes to visit us just once year and spend some time with us. He is not comfortable with any family visit and it upsets him. I feel ashamed when he ignores my grand-mom (she raised me and I have all the respect and love for her)
    3. “You are not active in our Sex life”. This is another complain I am hearing for the past five years continuously. Yes I do not know the reason why but my sexual feelings are not as such active. I love my husband but I have never taken the initiative role in our sex life. But I am happy when he asks me for sex and when we do sex (though I have never been in orgasm). And one of the problem here is he usually prefer to sleep in other room b/c he has a midnight praying. I sleep with my two kids in another room. I feel unloved when he join me for sex only. I told him to sleep with me many times but he is not willing. Of course he tell me “he loves me and sleeping separately does mean nothing”
    4. Sometimes he thinks as I am in infidelity with someone else. Especially if he called me at work and I am not responding to his call, he concludes as if I was with someone else. This hurts me a lot. Due to this reason we are not currently talking for a month
    Last week I wrote him a letter which states “when you think of me cheating, I feel also the same way as if he is cheating on me too.” And I noticed him “his father had similar relationship problem and I am afraid the same thing is happening on my marriage.” He does not replay for my letter till now. Now, He left our home for meeting to other city. He is not responding to my phone call or message. Then I text him How much I would be happy if he will call me or replay my call. Let him to know I will not call him anymore. Again another silent . Prior his leaving, He also told my maid “he will not be around home for the coming Eastern holiday”. I really do not know what to do. I just want to save my marriage but I do not know how

    Like

    • peacefulwife
      May 5, 2014 at 12:40 pm #

      Seble,
      Goodness! I apologize! I didn’t realize I didn’t respond to this comment. We were out of town for a week when you commented.

      How are things now? Have you and your husband spoken to each other?

      I would encourage you to read the posts at the top of my home page, those are a great place to start.
      How is your relationship with Christ?

      Is there something you can do about any of these issues to honor and bless your husband and to show him you want to respect him and that you care about what is important to him?

      Sending you a big hug, my precious sister!

      Like

  7. Pepper
    May 12, 2014 at 3:44 am #

    How do I blog?

    Like

  8. No Name
    January 14, 2016 at 11:11 am #

    Please help me. I left some comments on this site and would like to have them deleted, please. I don’t know how to get in touch with anyone.

    Like

    • Peacefulwife
      January 14, 2016 at 12:47 pm #

      No Name,

      I deleted them all. 🙂 May God richly bless you.

      Like

  9. Joy Sketoe
    March 15, 2016 at 10:55 pm #

    🙂

    Like

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  1. “What Would We Talk about If I Emailed You?” | Peacefulwife's Blog - February 21, 2014

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  2. GodlyWifetoBe Begins Her Journey | Peacefulwife's Blog - May 2, 2014

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